"Always wear pants", indeed a lesson we can all benefit from.
Hello, I am Jon Bean-Brain, a sod busting sodbuster. I am named that because people say I wear cloths and hats to big for me, and that forms an optical illusion in which my head looks exceptionally small. Since people have always called me that, my parents decided to change my name to that when I was 3 years old. Since then, me and my parents have forgotten my real name was.
I live in a small, unproductive and cheap piece of land that I bought when I was 20 years old. According to the salesman it was the best land that you could find in the world. He convinced me to pay all my savings for it, without even getting a chance to look at it (according to him if I saw it I would be so impressed that I would have a coma and someone else would buy it while I was unconscious). What a dishonest idiot, I feel like banging him in the head with a big heavy wagon wheel!!!
Before I was a sodbuster I had a job as a feather pillow tester, it was a relaxing job but it didn't pay much (I got paied 10 cents per ton of pillows tested). I decided to become a sodbuster since it paied more. To learn about the mysteries of sodbusting I went to the Great Sodbusting School. The school was a small log cabin where a wise old man would teach his students a 10 second lesson on the secrets of sodbusting. After waiting in line for an hour, I walked into the cabin, paied my 20 dollar registration fee and then he gave me my first and only sodbusting lesson. He quoted: "A good sodbuster must wear pants". Satisfied with my new knowledge I walked out and, by following his excellent advice, I became a good sodbuster.
I am planning to move west I search of better land and a better job (Sodbusting is a boring and dangerous job. I can remember the day I accidently missed the sod and busted my right foot instead. Unfortunately I screamed so loud that a buffalo resting nearby got scared and trampled over me). I don't have much money to spend in supplies for my trip west, but I have enough to buy a horse and half a wagon (I can also afford half an horse and a wagon, but half horses are less useful than half wagons). I hope to find someone who can only afford a half wagon so together we could buy a compleat horse and wagon.