This one explains why I didn't have a girlfriend in eleventh grade. Or twelvth, or thirteenth...

Culinary Classification

The culinary habitat is home to a vast diversity of species, all of which culinary taxonomists have devoted years to classifying and organizing. The categorizing system summarized below is, as of February 1993, the most accurate yet devised.

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It was obtained by polling three million culinary taxonomists and MacDonald's customers worldwide. Yet, due to the rapid advancements in the field of culinary taxonomy, this information is expected to become woefully outdated in approximately five seconds, so please read quickly.

Kingdom Coquinata (Coquina: Latin for kitchen)
- All encompassing category for items found in the kitchen
- Major Subdivisions:
  - Phylum Comederata: Edible items
  - Phylum Acomederata: Non-edibles items
Phylum Comederata (Comedere: Latin for comestible)
- Items in this category are edible and will not lead to intoxication or illness if eaten.
- Major Subdivisions:
  - Class Hydrocomederata: Liquid foods
  - Class Ahydrocomederata: Non-liquids; solids foods
  - Class Mediuscomederata: Between solids and liquids; viscous liquids
Phylum Acomederata
- Items in this category are non-edible and will lead to gastrovascular complications, illness or death if ingested. Also includes items too large to be swallowed.
- Major Subdivisions:
  - Class Mechania: Household appliances and utensils
  - Class Refusanius: Disposables
  - Class Purus: Cleaning products
Class Hydrocomederata (Hydro + Comedere: water foods)
- Consists of all items which are liquids
- Major Subdivisions:
  - Family Potabilis: Beverages
  - Family Apotabilis: Non-beverages; includes concentrates and oils
Class Ahydrocomederata
- Items which are not liquids; members of this class are solids
- Major Subdivisions:
  - Family Particula: Powdered items
  - Family Destrueredontes: Crunchy items
  - Family Petrocomederate: Hard and solid items
Class Mediuscomederata (Medius + Comedere: Latin; middle foods)
- Items which are not true liquids or solids; emulsions or suspensions
- Major Subdivisions:
  - Family Lumpus: Lumpy mediuscomederates
  - Family Viscum: Smooth mediuscomederates
Class Mechania(Derived from "mechanic")
- Include all mechanical kitchen appliances, electronic gadgets and utensils
- Major Subdivisions:
  - Family Origoedere: Appliances to aid in the making of food
  - Family Anorigoedere: Appliances not used in the making of food
  - Family Utensiliata: Hand-held tools and utensils used in the preparation and consumption of food
Class Refusanius(Refus: Latin for rejection)
- All items in this class are disposable
- Major Subdivisions:
  - Family Receptare: Containers
  - Family Engulfis: Non-containers
Class Purus (Latin for pure)
- All items in this class are used in cleaning; includes all cleaning, disinfectant, and deodorizing products
  - Family Jactarean: Products applied by spraying
  - Family Abraderus: Products applied by scrubbing
Family Potabilis(Latin for potable)
- All items in this class are beverages which are routinely drunk without additives
- Representative members:
  - Pepsus Artificialis: Pepsi
  - Moo lactus: Regular cow milk
  - Hydra plumbus: Tap water
  - Fructose squish: Fruit juice
Family Apotabilis
- Items in this class are not routinely used as beverages but instead are used as ingredients
- Representative members:
  - Oleo oliverus: Olive oil
  - Vinum spolium: Vinegar
  - Vinum blanco: White cooking wine
  - Extractus lima: Lemon juice extract
  - Extractus orange: Orange extract (flavoring)
Family Particula (Latin for particle)
- This class consists of small particles; includes beverages powders, spices and grains.
- Representative members:
  - Sodium chlorideum: Table salt
  - Cafe negro: Powdered dark coffee
  - Cafe lactus: Dairy coffee cream
  - Hydra botanus: Regular tea
  - Cremus wheatus: Cream of wheat
Family Destrueredontes (Destruere + dontes: destroy teeth)
- This class encapsulates all crunchy items
- Representative members:
  - Tortilla mexicanus: Mexican tortilla chips
  - Cracus perrotis: Salted crackers (the type parrots like)
Family Petrocomederate (Petro + Comedere: Latin; rock foods)
- All members of this family are hard and virtually unchewable; includes most candies
- Representative members:
  - Petro mintus: Mint candy (candy cane type)
  - Petro almondus: Candy coated almonds (the hard as stone type)
Family Lumpus (derived from "lumpy")
- All members of this family are lumpy and clearly heterogeneous
- Representative members:
  - Tomattus squishus: Ketchup
  - Tuxedo botanicus: Salad dressing
Family Viscum (derived from "viscous")
- All members of this family are homogeneous at the observable level; includes most non-lumpy viscous liquids
- Representative members:
  - Mayonesus yukko: Mayonese
  - Syrup cocoa: Hershey's chocolate syrup
  - Honeus insectus: Honey
Family Origoedere (Origo + Comedere: Latin; originate foods)
- All members of this family are used to cook foods
- Representative members:
  - Ovenus calore: Oven
  - Ovenus cancer: Microwave oven
Family Anorigoedere
- All members of this family are not used to cook foods
- Representative members:
  - Telephonus acousticus: Telephone
  - Discus scrubus: Dish washing machine
  - Refrigeratus polares: Refrigerator
  - Magnetus refrigerata: Refrigerator magnet (classification of this species remains debated by taxonomist worldwide; it has temporarily been placed in this family due to it's symbiotic relationship with members of the species Refrigeratus polares).
  - Paperus dispensus: Paper towel dispenser (temporarily placed in this family until a new phylum is agreed upon for this and the equally troublesome Magnetus refrigerata).
Family Utensiliata
- Hand-held tools and utensils used in the preparation and consumption of food
- Representative members:
  - Forcus plasticus: Plastic fork
  - Spoonea silverate: Silver spoon
  - Vidrus hydro: Drinking glass
  - Vidrus metric: Measuring cup
  - Panus metalica: Cooking pan
Family Receptare (Latin for receptacle)
- Members of this group can contain objects, including water
- Representative members:
  - Baggus plasticus: Plastic bag
Family Engulfis (derived from "engulf")
- Items used for wrapping belong in this category; does not necessarily need to be able to hold water. All items in this category are distributed in sheets.
- Representative members:
  - Planus plasticus: Plastic wrap
  - Planus aluminaria: Aluminum wrap
  - Planus paperus: Paper towel
Family Jactarean (Jactare: Latin for the act of throwing)
- Items in this category are applied by spraying
- Representative members:
  - Lysolus disinfetante: Lysol disinfectant spray
Family Abraderus (Abradere: Latin for the act of scraping off)
- Items in this category are applied by rubbing
- Representative members:
  - Softus abradere: Soft Scrub cleanser
  - Discus detergentus: Dish washing detergent

Marcio Luis Teixeira (21)
Unit 1 - Culminating Outcome
Chemistry
Period 2
2/15/93